October 31, 2001
To begin with, ‘FURRUZANTHEM’ – How on earth any decent American Navaho Indian worth his salt could turn this phrase into ‘FOR YOUR (ENGLISH) ANTHEM’ is totally beyond me. And to then put this along with ‘IFFEVVATHIWURRANY’ to then end up with ‘IF EVER, THEN WAR ON NEW YORK’ , then I can come to only one ultimate conclusion – that Messrs Dow and Tanis tried unsuccessfully to translate the encoded document and decided that, due to the copious amounts of Stella Artois consumed, they would put Team England under the maximum amount of danger possible. Knowing that placing such venomous drivel on a website would only fuel the 3 American supporters who will be present this weekend, Dow & Tanis were obviously under the misguided view that Team England would shrivel and shrink like an English Rose.
Well let me make this very clear – these boys have been the subject of much (untrue) speculation this week and I’ve been in a very fortunate position of being able to watch and evaluate their verbal and non-verbal retaliation, and assess their well publicized strength of mind. Such is the togetherness and camaraderie in this camp, Dow & Tanis had better hope that the American military have enough spare muscle to ensure their presence from bed to bathroom – never mind buggy to tee.
After some of the allegations thrown this way across the Atlantic and the latter shouts of ‘We don’t hear anyone defending Co-Captain Jennings’ – I can confirm one thing – You do not have to shout, bawl, spit and lie to get your point across – This is a gentleman’s psychological game, not a wild west saloon bar.
Not that Dow & Tanis would know anything about the softly softly approach. Their brazen chest beating has been the subject of much amusement over the last 48 hours. The images of Dow as Tarzan along with Tanis as Baloo has kept the insatiable spirit in the Team England camp incredibly high.
To sum up, Team England are united and totally focused on this week’s sole objective – The Flem Cup WILL return on Flight Number CAA174 out of Raleigh Durham, and WILL arrive at London Gatwick to the thousands of jubilant waiting supporters and press.
EDITOR’S NOTES: The Editor’s feel compelled to point out several items in reference to Mr./Ms. Stilaway’s letter.
It is unclear what the connection lies between Tarzan, the King of the Jungle and a cartoon baboon from Disney’s Jungle Book despite M/M Stilaway’s assumption that there is some obvious and direct connection that we should all recognize. Any help on that one would be greatly appreciated.
Also, both Dow and Tanis insist that the first they heard of the translation was when it appeared on this website as a news story. That story was broken by Flem Cup correspondent, Datzit Indaruf. When asked, Indaruf said: “I’ve got the interveiw with Singing Niblick – and the subsequent one in which he apologizes – on my tape recorder. Dow and Tanis had nothing to do with the initial mistaken translation.”
When Tanis was asked what his reaction was to the increasingly vitriolic statements issuing forth from England, he said: “Its a shame it has come to this. I only wish there was something we could do to tone down this vicious rhetoric. Evidently Scott and Ian have some fence-mending to do. I mean, come on, let’s move forward. Our future is ahead of us. Let’s leave the past behind. There’s no time like now. Can’t we all just get along ?”